A Day to Remember

I have not turned my back on you 
So there is no need to cry. 
I'm watching you from heaven 
Just beyond the morning sky. 

I've seen you almost fall apart 
When you could barely stand. 
I asked an angel to comfort you 
And watched her take your hand. 

She told me you are in more pain 
Than I could ever be. 
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard 
Then gave your hand to me. 

Although you may not feel my touch 
Or see me by your side. 
I've whispered that I love you 
While I wiped each tear you cried. 

So please try not to ache for me 
We'll meet again one day. 
Beyond the dark and stormy sky 
A rainbow lights the way.
~Authour Unknown



That's the poem I posted to my facebook Feb 21 2012.  I had miscarried Feb 18.  It was difficult for me but I've grown from it.  It does hurt still even though I only knew of her 2 weeks.  Even though she was so small, even though I never got to see her or hold her I still loved her.  Today I lit a candle for her and it burned over an hour.  Time has healed a lot.  I've accepted but that doesn't mean I will forget.  I will never forget.  My thoughts on this helped me cope with my loss:  I believe that for every miscarriage you have that's how many babies you will have in heaven.  Why not?  Why not carry to term your baby that you were unable to on earth?  I'll see her again someday.  (maybe even 2 others, twice I thought I was pregnant before but no positive tests and afterwards miscarriage symptoms; no way of knowing now.) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 But anyway, My trip to Tampa with my sister was fun. We went to lighthouse thrift shop and I got Gabe lots and lots of clothes.  We then went to eat at Kobe in Brandon and it was SOOOOO good.  Gabe loved the fire and he ate like a horse.  He had 2 pouches, all aunt Nini's potatoes, half my zucchini, rice and noodles.  (lets just say he didn't want anything the rest of the night).  We then went to my sisters doctors appointment and I got to meet her surgeon, Dr. Murr.  I really liked him the only problem is I don't think I will be able to come up with the 750$ for the program fee.  Its the only thing not covered under my insurance. Tomorrow I have an appointment at Celebration Health, I really hope their program fee isn't expensive.  This surgery means the world to me and I am so close. I can't wait for this and I've wanted it for a very very Long time.

  Anyway guys, Take care 

Oh a video of Gabe at the park: