Its been forever

Its been forever since I've been outside... November 23rd to be exact.  I miss the trees and I miss home.  I never thought I could call a place home since we moved out of our first apartment at Mallards of Wedgewood.  I loved it there... it was beautiful and very cozy.  I was always determined to eventually go back, one day hopefully I will.  We now live in a small (tiny) 2 bedroom house with a huge front yard.  The back yard is just as large possibly bigger and its fenced in.  We have very oddly shaped rooms but its cozy.  Our bedroom and nursery is shared although there is an extra room... that room already has plans.  
The weekend before I was sentenced to bed rest torture my husband had rearranged the house.  We moved our living room into the dining room so we could clear out the extra room.  That room initially was going to be the nursery, although plans always change.  We will be getting the kids back and our former living room will be their bed room.   I look at this time in my life as a transition.   I will be stuck in this hospital probably until Gabriel is born.  Then I will go home and be a mommy... for a long while.   Its going to be a change going from no kids to 3.  But in all honesty I enjoyed taking care of the kids last year... the financial burden was too much though and now I feel as if we are a little more stable. 

My husband isn't as convinced but I just feel it.  I will no longer be working at all.  2 kids and a baby won't allow for that.   Although I am going to try my best to fulfill my lifelong calling...  I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom,  a house wife.  No occupation has ever interested me enough to actively pursue.  Yes I am a CNA but that was only for conveniencey.  Now that I will be a stay at home mom I want to pursue my love, writing.  I want to be a writer not because of money or fame.  The reason is that I believe there is power in words and I believe it becomes magical when someone can harness that power for others enjoyment.   That is my plan.  Next step... get my laptop fixed so I can write and research and improve my skills.