an anodyne makes you feel good

yep it sure does... wtf is this??? im glad you asked, the world will never know

Hey Mom, long time no see...

Alright so my mother passed away a while back in 2008.  There has been a couple dreams I've had about her and its almost as if she was actually there, kinda like she came to visit me. Me and my sister had an identical dream about her and later discovered we had the same dream on the same night, with only slight differences that were time clues (she came to see my sister first then me because she had moved an item across the table we were sitting at). I had a dream about her before I married my husband and in that dream she pretty much told me that she approves and that she really likes him.  I had another dream later that I had to tell my sister because mom was trying to get a hold of her and she wouldn't listen. Also in that same dream mom told me how much she liked Melinda and that she couldn't think of anyone who would've been better for my dad than her. She was very glad they were getting married.  Then there were the occasional dreams of that she was there but no one needed to tell her that she was gone because "she didn't like to talk about that".  Its almost as if she has been checking in on me.

Today I had another dream.  I walked into a house and her and my husband were talking going through some clothes. She greeted me and asked if I could help her find the black dress my grandmother got my sister for Christmas.  She said she needed it because her friend April was going to die this weekend and she wanted to be there to pick her up at her funeral.  I agreed and she said how much weight Nicki had lost and how good she looked.  She then saw Gabe crawling across the floor to her and she turned and scooped him up giving him a huge hug.  He was giggling and laughing at her. Then she turns to me and says : "Ya know, I would've been a horrible grandmother, I hated getting old. But he really is something, I'm sorry I don't come down as often anymore.  You've got a family now and other things to worry about."  She started to cry. It was almost like a goodbye. It also seemed like she wished she wouldn't have died but she also knew that she was suppose to and had accepted it.  Then she said "well I gotta go, I'm gonna be late, see ya later"

I know everyone probably thinks I'm crazy but it feels like I still have a relationship with my mom even though shes been gone for so long now.  Another thing that bothers me is that I don't know who April is.  My moms best friend Teresa used to have a friend named April (I think) but she never knew her.  It concerns me because I don't know who this person is.  Oh well, I'll know one day I guess.